I just don't think you understand.... That is how the song goes. I think I'm trying desperately to cheer and lighten myself up. I've considered signing up for being the first person to live on mars as a way to escape everything...could work - could also make me even more nuts. If this is possible, which I tragically think is not.
Having emotions inside you that just keep on bubbling and rising and bubbling and rising and only when I have melted down or exploded do I realize the actual reason and/or origin of the real problem. In this case (today's meltdown) it was once more the simple fact that I was missing my beloved boyfriend so much that I couldn't see nor think clearly. Add on the whole x-mas woes and PMS and you've got a nasty cocktail. These are the times when moving to mars and being unreachable for about a week seem like a truly genius plan. I only end up hurting him, the man whom I love so much that I don't know what to do with myself, and hurting myself. My frustration and sadness turn into anger for it is easier to deal with and voilá you have a crappy sufflé. Ready to be served with shitty wine and your choice of angst and self hate. I prefer angst - less aftertaste.
If I only knew how to lessen these problems somehow... I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to keep messing things up and making myself feel like shit, nor make my darling feel like shit :(
First step - recognition of problem. check.
second step - try to mend origin of problem...
third step - fix problem....
Hope I can check those of real soon....
goodevening
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i will come be ur neighbor in mars, i could do with getting away too.
ReplyDeleteahhh i love u ernybeeeen, so happy to have met u :)
u should feel lucky to be able to feel what u do, i mean, on the possitive side, its amazing to know that ur heart can feel and love to its full capacity, some people never get there...
xxx
i am so coming to be ur neighbor on Mars! could do with getting away too! ernybeen, ah i love u! so happy i got to get to know u, it was gods 2009 gift to me :)
ReplyDeleteon the bright side, its great you can feel like that, think of it that way, its amazing to know that your heart can feel and love to its full capacity, some people never get there, ever.
well.
<3 u
En tablett om dagen gör Stiny glad i hagen(hågen ;D):
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fass.se/LIF/produktfakta/artikel_produkt.jsp?NplID=20010601000297&DocTypeID=7&UserTypeID=2